Health Regression

The past few months have been Hell...

I am the heaviest I have ever been, I am not sleeping, I am in constant pain and discomfort, I am basically being held in a wait and see pattern while the doctors keep me as numb as I can possibly be and still function at work at the same time...

I am sick and tired of being sick and tired...

Let's back up and start with a bit of history:

Ever since I was very young I always had very long, heavy and painful menstrual cycles. I didn't realize for a very long time that this was normal. Often I would stay home from school or work for 1-2 days when the really bad days hit me. I was prescribed birth control pills to help control my cycles.

I moved out on my own when I was 16 and started smoking. I quit taking the pill because I was advised not to continue taking them if I smoked.

I had my son with my first husband when I was 21. My cycles became even worse, so I went on Depo Provera (birth control injection shots) as I couldn't go back on the birth control pill because I was still smoking at that time.

During my second marriage we decided to try and have a child together. I went off the injections and nothing happened (no menstrual cycle). I was prescribed hormone pills to help re-start everything. They made me miserable, and I made everyone else around me miserable as well. After a few more months my cycles returned, but I was never able to have any more children. I began to discover then that my menstrual cycle troubles were a sign that things were not really all that well in the hormone and fertility department. The second marriage ended shortly after.

In 2010 my menstrual cycles were out of control. I was missing multiple days of work almost every month due to the extreme amounts of pain and bleeding. After multiple doctor visits and hospital emergencies a cyst was found that was causing the pain due to a twisted stalk. A laparoscopy was performed and the cyst was removed. It took me almost 2 weeks to recover from that surgery. I thought that was the end of that.

Less than six months later the pain returned and this time multiple cysts and fibroids were discovered and I was diagnosed with PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome). One of the fibroids was quite large and I agreed to have a myomectomy performed to remove the large fibroid and anything else they could during the surgery. Over eight pounds of cysts and fibroids were removed from that particular surgery. It took two months to recover from that surgery. I was hoping that would finally be the end.

My common law husband and I changed out diet and eating habits and researched what we could find out about PCOS. Things seemed pretty good for a while, although eventually the cycles went back to their normal (for me) horrid self.

Starting in September of 2014 I could take it any more. The pain was horrible again, I was missing too much work again, and I was at the end of my rope. I was given ultrasounds, pain killers, iron supplements, medication to slow down the bleeding, everything. But everything was all wait and see. I requested a specialist but was told I didn't need one.

Finally, in December, after going to the hospital on three separate occasions, the hospital emergency doctor referred me to a specialist that works out of the hospital.

I really like my specialist. The first ultrasound we did showed a large, almost 9 cm cyst in my right ovary. As most cysts tend to resolve themselves in 1-2 months, he decided to wait 2 months and get new images done and decide at that point what steps to take next. I am still on a wait and see regiment, but at least I feel like there is some information and some movement. My specialist also requested a CA 125 blood test (which was not covered by OHIP) so I am just waiting for those results back right now as well. I have been prescribed low dosage birth control (Lolo) to help prevent new cysts from forming as well as to (hopefully) regulate my cycle. I take Metformin to help control blood sugar levels and weight gain, and I now also have to take Toradol three scheduled times a day to keep the pain at bay.

I have little to no motivation. I am not really doing any courses lately, I am trying to stay on task at my full time job, trying to build a business of my own on the side, and mostly just chilling out in my comfy home office chair with a hot water bottle, some Netflix and some knitting.

Fun right?

Well that ran a little longer then intended....

Basically my thought was to revive this blog to help track all my symptoms, tests, results, etc. for medical purposes and also to provide the information for anyone else out there is having similar issues so you know you are not alone and maybe we can share what is/is not working for you/me.

I started tracking my symptoms on January 10th, 2015 as follows:

Saturday, January 10th, 2015

• lower back pain
• lower left pelvic pain
• nausea
• no appetite, full easily
• headache
• having to urinate frequently, but not a lot each time
• constipated
• Extra medications today: Naproxen for afternoon pain, Docusate for constipation, Gravol for nausea, Percocet for increased evening pain and to sleep.

Sunday, January 11th, 2015

• little to no sleep the previous night
• diarrhea
• upper and lower gas
• pelvic pain
• lack of appetite
• no energy
• passed out in the middle of the day for about 4 hours
• Extra medications today: Tylenol 3 for pain (barely numbed it)

Monday, January 12th, 2015

• lower left pelvic pain
• nausea
• extreme bloating and pressure
• Extra medications today: n/a

Tuesday, January 13th, 2015

• little to no sleep the previous night
• having to urinate frequently, but not a lot each time
• heartburn
• weak and shaky
• right leg glitches
• extreme bloating and pressure
• upper and lower gas
• dizzy
• heaviness of chest
• short walk to the bank almost made me pass out
• Extra medications today: n/a

Wednesday, January 14th, 2015

• little to no sleep the previous night
• had to get up to urinate in the middle of the night
• bad tasting and burning upper gas
• bad smelling and burning lower gas
• constant tummy rumbling
• sharp pains in the lower left pelvic area
• extreme nausea
• lower back pain
• Extra medications today: n/a

Thursday, January 15th, 2015

• little to no sleep the previous night
• running on empty
• extreme nausea
• extreme heartburn
• lower back pain
• stomach pain (above the belly button)
• lower right pelvic pain
• Extra medications today: Gravol for nausea and sleep

Friday, January 16th, 2015 (as at 1:00 pm EST)

• almost no sleep previous night, maybe 2 hours
• exhausted
• nausea
• heartburn

It's Been A While...

I'm not going to make a huge blog post today, but I wanted to at least address my whereabouts for the last little while since kind readers have been emailing me to see if everything is OK.
It wasn't...but it's better now.

I fell into a huge slump. I was feeling very ill, all the time again. I was at a loss what to do. I couldn't go to the gym because I felt so ill. I fell behind on diet as well because to be honest, I just didn't have the energy to care and put any effort into making healthy meals so we often purchased takeout or frozen foods that were easy to just warm up. I haven't weighed myself in months, but it can't be good.

Eventually the pain got so bad that I couldn't handle it any more. So I went back to the doctor. She sent me for a follow up ultrasound. It showed that the larger fibroid had grown. In 6 months. Not good. The doctor was slightly baffled because apparently fibroids usually don't cause pain unless they are in a bad spot. After talking between the doctor and the specialist that was finally appointed to me (the same one who did my previous surgery) we decided that it would be best to have the fibroid removed.

I went in for an abdominal myomectomy on November 15th. I had to live with the pain (prescribed heavy painkillers to help dull it) until that date. I missed a lot of work because of the pain. I hate missing work, so this made me miserable. To top it off I now have to take 6 week off to recover from the surgery before I can go back to work. The good news is they removed the large fibroid, plus 3 others, together with a cyst they found on my ovary. No wonder I was in agony. Man, I hope this worked.

Today marks the first day of my 3rd week of recovery. I am almost bored out of my skull. Luckily I have lots of books to read, homework to do, and crochet projects to finish. And of course my video game.

Hmmm...this post came out a little longer than I intended. Oh well...that's where I am at right now. I go back to work in January and I really hope I can slowly start back to the gym and change my eating habits so I never have to go through this again.

To end on a somewhat higher note, I wanted to share some pictures of the crochet squares I have been working on for the Bernat's Mystery Afghan Crochet Along project. Alas, the uploader doesn't work so well...so if you have Ravelry look up gwenythlove or if you are a Facebook friend I have an album there. I'll share one pic because that is all I can get to work right now. Enjoy!

Summer15 Update

What a great weekend I had! For once (in a long time) I felt like I was productive! I didn't accomplish everything I wanted, but I did accomplish more than I usually have lately.

First off, I'm down another 0.7 pounds! How is that for awesome?

That's right...that's me! 10 pounds lost from January 1st, 0.7 pounds lost from last week, and 4.6 pounds lost since the start of Summer15. Pretty sweet. I'm not sure if I'll make the 15 pound goal for Summer15, but I am super happy with what I have accomplished to date.

I am still struggling with the diet aspect quite a bit. There are so many things I am not supposed to eat, and I am having a really hard time sticking to it. But I do feel like I have tried to wean out as much as possible, when possible. I have picked up some books to hopefully help out with these issues, including The PCOS Diet Cookbook. I am eating the tomato and onion salad right now while I am typing this up!

I started a new course at school. I am forcing myself to stay focused and remain on schedule. I highlighted each portion a different colour and wrote the date beside it that it should be finished. The course "technically" starts September 1st. I managed to complete the whole first lesson this weekend. Lesson one didn't have to be done until September 14th so I am already about 23 days ahead of schedule. Booyeah!

I thank the carnelian bracelet. Michael and I stopped in at the Fifth Wheel in Bowmanville for breakfast on the way to pick of my son from his grandmother's trailer. I ran into the variety shop there to pick up a Birthday card for my mother. I saw these little gem bracelets and immediately became intrigued by the carnelian one because it said it helped with creativity, concentration, energy and motivation. Yup! Sounds like things I could use!

I know it most likely isn't really the bracelet, but every time I look at it I am reminded to do what I must do...so maybe it does work!

Summer15 Update

I am sooooo close to being the lightest I have been in a long time. I am .2 pounds off my previous lightest weight of 158.5. I know I can do this!

So this puts me 9.3 pounds since January 1st, 3.9 pounds down since the start of Summer15 and 0.9 pounds down form last week. Rocking!

Some of the food choice changes I have been making are obviously working very well, as much as I grumble about them. I haven't done much exercise, and I have made some poor food choices this week, but overall I think I did really really good, and I guess it shows!

I have really started enjoying preparing some healthier meals ahead of time for work. My favourites are the breakfast grains from The Biggest Loser Simple Swaps: 100 Easy Changes to Start Living a Healthier Lifestyle and the Tabbouleh from The Low GI Handbook: The New Glucose Revolution Guide to the Long-Term Health Benefits of Low GI Eating (New Glucose Revolutions).

After having a week off from exercise due to illness I went super hardcore when I went back to the gym Tuesday (after having a long holiday weekend). I went a little too hard...not only did I raise my heart rate over the point where the treadmill could read it (it screamed at me 199%+) but I also damaged my knee. I should have known better. I really wrecked it back when I was 16 and doing parades with my Drum Corps. I was told since I refused surgery that it would always be sensitive and I would have to take care of it. And here I go jogging out super hard on a treadmill with about 50-60 extra pounds on me from when I originally hurt it (I was maybe a good 90 pounds soaking wet back when I was that age).

So yeah...duh...and hence the no further workouts for that week. I was in agony just walking up some stairs to get to work. Ugh.

I also sucked out at my goals. I had only 3 goals this weekend, and I didn't complete even one. But on the other side I did spend quite a few hours shopping with the other half to help him put together some nice new ensembles for work (more updates on that soon, just waiting for the official news). I'm telling you, men complain about shopping with women...but shopping with a picky man is no picnic either!

I also had a nice conversation with the other half about my education and am pleased he agreed to let me go back to taking two courses at once since I really only raid once a night now. There were of course some specifications:

1) No more costly extensions.

2) Course must be staggered so as not to have their finals close to one another.

3) Only one of the course may have both a final and a midtem, the complimentary course must be all assignments or assignments with a final only (so as to avoid overlapping of exams).

I am quite happy with this. I will be signing up for my next course (Computers and Management Information Systems) on Wednesday. It is an assignment only course. I can't wait! This will give me some brain breaks from the hideous Taxation course (which has to be completed my November - ugh).

Summer15 Week Six

Well that sort of worked out better. Odd considering the week I have had, but I'll take it as it comes.

Last week if you remember I posted I weighed in at 162.4. I am down 2.8 pounds!

I didn't go to the gym at all this week! This is so weird. I always seem to lose weight when I DON'T go to the gym? Is it just a coincidence?

My food choices were not always the greatest either. My son was out of town for the week and this left me the option of eating crappy dinners (which I did most nights). But I was really really good with my lunches, following the food list as best as possible. So maybe that is what helped.

Hopefully this week I can add in better dinners too. The other half wants to start improving his diet as well, so hopefully with us both feeling the urge to be better we can encourage one another.

I have started reading The Low GI Handbook: The New Glucose Revolution Guide to the Long-Term Health Benefits of Low GI Eating (New Glucose Revolutions) and it has some really great low GI recipes included, together with full weekly diet plans. This week alone I have already tried 2 of the recipes. I especially enjoyed the tabbouleh (pics to follow soon).

I am still interested to learn what everyone else does to stay on track with eating and avoid all the yummy temptations out there. So don't be shy! Leave a comment and let me know, because I am still having way too many weak craving moments.

Food Issues

I haven't blogged for a while. No duh right? I've been having issues. I have been frustrated by my weight gain (even with the addition of all the time I have been spending at the gym) and I have had some low feeling days where I barely wanted to get out of bed (both health and depression wise).

But I think I have finally realized what my main problem is. It has taken me a while to figure it out, but now I know.

I went to see my Naturopath who specializes in PCOS on Friday. She provided me with some supplements to help me out. First off she prescribed me something called Healthy Hormones (which hopefully will not give me the same nasty side effects the one from my Doctor gave me) and a Glucose Regulation supplement. She also created a food list for me outlining the things I should, and should not eat. There is a whole lot of should nots, let me tell you! I am really upset about a lot of the foods on the should not list, but I understand the reasoning behind them. I just don't know how I'm going to survive not eating the foods I am used to.

For example:

bananas
mangoes
wheat
balsamic vinegar
potatoes (of any kind)
rice (of any kind)
oats
caffeine
pork
scallops
fruit juices
butter (or any dairy really)
pumpkin seeds
etc...

I mean seriously? That was pretty much my diet right there! What the heck am I going to do for breakfast? I love my hot oatmeal! Man I feel like crying!

So that of course is issue number one. Obviously I have been eating all the wrong foods for my disorder. The second issue is that I can't seem to make myself NOT eat the not list even knowing now that I am not supposed to eat it! I seriously argue with myself at every meal time about what I want to eat, what I'm supposed to eat, and what I'm actually going to eat. And I am failing miserably here!

I have still had my oatmeal every day since the appointment. I can't seem to break myself of that habit. I don't know what to do. At dinner I have the best of intentions and then on the way home I tell myself "screw it" and I grab chili from Tim Horton's or something. I feel like a great big failure.

Oh and here is how the weight loss issue has been going:

Week 1: 159.9
Week 2: 162.0
Week 3: 160.8
Week 4: 161.8
Week 5: 162.4

I wouldn't feel so bad if at least my body fat percentage was going down...but it's not...it just stays at 30.5% mocking me. I am so close to just being done. Resigning myself to the fact that I have PCOS and eating what I want, when I want and coming to grips with the fact I will get larger.

But then I remember the pain that I had both before and after the surgery to remove one of the cysts. It was excruciating. I don't want to go through that again, not if I know I can do something to stop it from happening, and I can. I just have to stop being so damn lazy.

So my question is what do you do to help yourself stay on track with food? I have heard not to treat it as a diet, but as new eating for life...but honestly that makes me feel worse. I have started journaling because I was told that would help, and I can see how in a way because I feel very guilty every time I have to write something down I know shouldn't be in there. I bought this wonderful diet and fitness journal that is just perfect for what I need. I found it at Chapters.

I also heard some people take pictures of every meal and post them to their blog because it makes them more accountable to the people who read their blog. That might work...if I remembered to take a picture of everything I ate. Oh well, here's lunch:

Half a tuna sandwich on brown with a sweet orange pepper, 8 cocktail tomatoes, 6 green beans and Gardennay Asparagus soup (but I didn't eat the soup because it was nasty). The only thin in this picture on my NOT list would be the bread, so not too terrible.

Please share with me your techniques for staying on track with food. I am very interested in hearing them because if I can't find something that works soon I fear I might cave in...and that's not a good thing...

Summer15 Week Two

So I am slightly heartbroken. I have gained 2.1 pounds from last week's 2.7 pound loss. On a positive note that means I am still 0.6 pounds into my 15 pound goal, but it still stinks.

I'm not exactly sure what happened. I have been doing great with my working out. I have gone to the gym every workday since receiving the free membership. I have done both the upper and lower training sessions and now know how to mix my weight training with cardio. I mean I know I ate badly here and there...but I always do...and I don't usually exercise...so I should have lost! The only thing I can hope for is that it's fat turning into muscle. Nothing else really makes sense to me.

This week I managed to do the following:

Thursday - Treadmill for a total of 32 minutes (5 min warm-up followed by 25 mins of 60 sec run and 90 sec walk ending with a 2 min cool-down)

Friday, Saturday, Sunday - Long weekend. Since the gym is located near my work (which is very far from my home) I do not have access to it on non-work days. Did some housework.

Monday - Elliptical Beginner Level 2 workout session for 30 mins, 2 min cool-down

Tuesday - Upper and abs followed by 15 mins on the treadmill

Wednesday - Lower and abs with trainer followed by 5 mins on the treadmill (before almost passing out)

Today the gym is closed for Canada day (/pouts) and tomorrow I am off so I won't see the gym until Monday again. Hopefully I can fit something in at home. It's one of my goals since I failed so miserably at doing so last weekend...

Goals for Week #3

- eat no more than ONE fast food take out dinner

- eat no more than ONE eat in restaurant dinner (NOT FAST FOOD)

- work out at least 4 days at the gym

- fit in at least one fitness program or 30 minute elliptical circuit at home over the weekend

- finish assignment #1 for Taxation course (not everything has to be about weight loss!)

- make at least one new meal from The Biggest Loser Simple Swaps: 100 Easy Changes to Start Living a Healthier Lifestyle (I'm eying trying out the spaghetti squash)

- cut down (or cut out) the coffee (no more than large on weekends and no more than medium on weekdays)

- drink more water or herbal tea (this should be easier with my newfound obsession with David's Tea

There...that should be a good start!  Here's to a new week!

Summer15 Week One

There we go, right out in the open to start with. That was my weight this morning before I got dressed to go to the  gym. That's a loss of 2.7 pounds from last week. Colour me impressed!

It's been a great week. My doctor recommended reading The G.I. Diet to help with controlling my nutrition and eating habits to match my diagnosis of PCOS. I am really enjoying it. It's really not that complicated. I have been pretty good with it (minus the McDonald's melt down last night). I have pre-packed my lunch every night, usually with chicken leftovers and carefully counted out servings of things like carrots and nuts that are good for snacks, but only in smaller amounts.

My boyfriend decided it would be great fun to wake us up early Saturday and Sunday to take the dogs for a nice walk around the block and a run in the park. I thought weekends were for sleeping in? I guess he missed the memo...

I also got extremely lucky when a local women's club (like four doors away from my office) came around and offered free, no strings attached, 3 month memberships to try their club. It was like a glowing sign from weight-loss Heaven and I off course jumped on that offer quick.

Friday was my fit test, and the results were...well...not too fit at all...lol...but that was expected.

Yesterday I spent some time doing cardio, 22 minutes on the elliptical followed by 10 minutes on the treadmill (doing 2 walk / 1 run - hoping for another crack at a 5K one day soon).

Today I met with a trainer for one of two sessions to set me up with a program. Today was upper. Can I just say I hurt now? Oh...and I could use a nap please...

The good thing is at least I now know WHAT to do when I go to the gym. That's the one thing I have always hated about gyms...sure you can ride the cardio machines until you are red in the face (literally) but that's not enough to lose all the weight. There has to be at least SOME weight training....and until now I had no clue where to begin.

Tomorrow I will do cardio again. I was supposed to go for lower training Friday, but thanks to the G20 circus we have been given the day off so we won't have to tackle protesters and tear gas. I hope to be able to keep up this momentum at home...and get back on the ball (or treadmill) Monday.

Summer15 Starts Today!

It's been a while again since I posted. There are some really traumatizing, I mean exciting reasons for that, but I will share them in a future post. Since the words pain, hospital, vomit, surgery and stitches are all included, I feel it deserves a post all on its own!

But this post is strictly for the Summer15. What is the Summer15 you ask? Basically it's a contest for Bloggers to try and lose 15 pounds over the summer. It goes from Tuesday June 15th (today) until Tuesday September 7th. I really hope this helps motivate me to get with the program now that I'm pretty much all healed (minus a few stitches).

So start off this contest with a bang, I have to post my starting weight today.

162.6...it's a bit more than I would like, given the weight I had lost previously...but due to circumstances (involving the traumatic words posted above) I can certainly understand how it happened. Being stuck on bed rest for almost a week certainly didn't help. Neither did my lack of wanting to do pretty much anything which led to me eating way too much takeout and went back to drinking coffee.  These past two days of trying to return to my healthier ways are killing me! (Can anyone say caffeine and sugar withdrawal???)

So yeah, that's what's going on with me right now. Look for more exciting news again soon! I hope I'm well enough soon to get back into some hardcore exercise programs because I really really want to achieve this 15 pound weight loss...not for the contest...but just for me.

M.I.A.

First of all, I want to thank all of you wonderful readers who have emailed me over the past week or so wondering if everything is OK with me. It means a lot to me that people are reading enough to realize when you have been gone to long and are genuinely curious as to why.

Since my last post I have gained exactly 5 pounds back. The very same 5 pounds I was so proud to have lost as it put me at the 10 pounds lost marker.

But I'm OK with it.  Why?

1) I have been eating like crap! (When I felt like eating at all that is.)

2) I have not been exercising AT ALL!

Why you ask again?

Because I have been sick.

I have been VERY sick.

I have been going through medical tests and doctor's appointments like crazy to find out why I am sick (and am in constant agony).

I was so stressed out, not just with the pain, but also because I was having trouble working, walking up and down stairs, sleeping, and doing just about anything really. I was so freaked out trying to figure out what it could be.

Luckily we pretty much have the answer now, also luckily it seems like something that should be easy to take care of without extensive surgeries and medications.

I have a few more tests that need to be run before the doctor can refer me to the specialist, and then they will be the ones to decide how to proceed.

Here is what we do know so far: (WARNING - This is very personal and involves women's cycles, etc and might be too much information for some people. Continue reading at your own risk!)

PCOS has pretty much been confirmed via ultrasounds, but we are still waiting on the final blood work to come back on that.

Two uterine fibroids have been discovered. One is about 2 cm and the other is around 5cm. The larger one is in the lower back area and the reason for most of the pain and the inability to sleep.

I have an excess of ovarian follicles which is also a symptom of PCOS and may be rupturing which can also be causing the pain in the abdominal areas.

Until we can get more test results back and speak to a specialist I have been placed on prescription painkillers to manage the pain so I can at least return to a somewhat normal lifestyle. I have also been placed on birth control pills for three months (starting with my next cycle) to manage the hormone levels and make the menstrual cycles more bearable as that is what is aggravating the fibroids.

Fun stuff right! At least I got in lots of reading and video game time! I even made a Shelfari account! Feel free to add me.

At least it's not cancerous...that's what I keep repeating to myself over and over again...

Next week I hope to get back to healthier eating and some exercise (pending how the painkillers work of course).  I have already been told I had to drop out of my dancing with ROTC for the season as well as drop out of my first 5K race I had planned.  I'm pretty bummed but I am hoping once my health gets back on track I can return to those things I enjoyed!

Weekly Weigh-in

Well...I wasn't going to do a weigh-in post yet. in fact, it was my intent to merely post a photo blog today. But then I realized something...

For those of you paying attention...that means I have lost a total of 10.5 pounds to date! OMG! This entitles me to add this to my sidebar!

Ecstatic much? Ummm hell yeah! I've lost 1.3 pounds this week alone! I am MORE than ecstatic.

I'd like to thank my wonderful boyfriend for putting us (yes the whole family) on a healthier eating plan, making it so much easier for me (and of course he has lost some of his extra pounds as well!). I also want to thank all my ROTC co-members for making me work my butt off at every rehearsal! I am SO looking forward to our all day rehearsal before the parades start!

The weirdest part is I was just trying to talk myself into going for a nice walk and grabbing a taco from Taco Bell to celebrate Cinco De Mayo...but now I think I will just stick with the raw veggies and black bean dip, I mean that's Mexican too right? I mean the company that makes it is called Mad Mexican!

Besides...it's my son's birthday today (12 years, wow...really?) and he has picked Dairy Queen as his dinner of choice...so it's already going to be a BAD eating day....

But how can you say no to this face? (Especially when he picked a healthy fruit smoothie for his breakfast of choice...)

Weekly Weigh-in

This has been a pretty great week overall. After reading The Ultimate PCOS Handbook: Lose Weight, Boost Fertility, Clear Skin and Restore Self-Esteem I started feeling better about how to deal with my weight gain and other health issues in a natural way, without hated medications, surgeries, etc.

This week my boyfriend put us on a mostly raw fruit and vegetable diet with only eggs and fish being allowed. This was to not only help with my weight loss goals, but also my digestion issues.

Wow! Look at that! That's my new lowest weight achieved since this year started. I am so excited! This puts me at a total weight loss from the beginning of the year of 9.2 pounds! I am so close to that ten pound goal I can taste it! Last week's weigh-in was 161.7, so that's a loss of 2.9 pounds for the week. Amazing!

I actually took the time to weigh myself every day this week to see how things were going, and almost every day (with the exception of one) resulted in at least a minor loss from the day before. Here is how it looked:

Mon:  160.2
Tues:  159.8
Wed:  159.2
Thur:  160.0 (the only up day)
Fri:     158.8

How great is that? And this was all done strictly through diet. I haven't changed my exercise situation at all yet. But that of course is the next step now that I am feeling super motivated again!

Curious what I ate? Here is a sample:

Nomnomnomnomnom!

Wednesday Weigh-in

I know, I know...I have been missing in action for a while. This is due to a mixture of uber business and depression.  Let me explain...

The last time I posted we thought there might be a bun in the oven. We had never really thought about having a child together. I have a boy who is almost 12 from my first marriage, and my partner (Michael) is 11 years older than me and never really thought about having a child of his own. Actually he said he didn't really want one.

This all changed the moment we thought it was happening. He was so excited, I was so exited, we picked out names...you can see where this is going right? Well it turned out, even after 2 weeks late, I wasn't pregnant, or maybe I was and lost it. We'll never know. What I do know is this...now we kind of want to have another one...but now it turns out I might not be able to.

Why?

The doctor thinks I might have PCOS (Polycycstic Ovary Syndrome). We think this is why I am struggling with things like weight gain (even though I eat really small meals) specifically around my belly (which my demonic kindly coworker was evil nice enough to point out looked like I was 3 months pregnant). Other symptoms are things like acne on my face and back (check) extra and darker hair in regular areas as well as places like the chin, chest and nipples (check). Oh and let's not forget digestion issues, which we all know from previous posts I definitely suffer from.


How does this effect baby planning? Well low fertility is also a symptom. Perhaps this is explains why in almost 12 years I have been unable to have another child...


The good news is now that I know there are many treatments, most natural and fits my diet/exercise plan anyhow. It just makes me even more motivated to try harder now. I am reading this great book called The Ultimate PCOS Handbook: Lose Weight, Boost Fertility, Clear Skin and Restore Self-Esteem. It has some great information in it and I hope to post a review when I am done. I am about halfway through it now.


So that's that...

I am down one whole pound from the last time I weighed in. So that's good. I have been really focusing on diet and exercise a lot more. My Gruve is really helpful in reaching at least my movement goals, forcing me to take the stairs more and longer walks at lunch, etc. I love it.


A girl at the bank just yesterday asked me if I had been losing weight. I almost jumped onto the counter and kissed her. It may only be one pound on the scale but I do feel a difference and I am feeling happier with myself, and that's where it all starts, right?

Wednesday Weigh-in

I'm up again, 0.9 pounds to be exact...but that's OK. It's OK for a few reasons, I'm not going to share them all, but here are a few:

a) My digestive system is completely nuts right now. I feel bloated and huge and tired and cranky. Thankfully I am going to see the doctor tomorrow so I can be assessed to see how we can rectify this again.

b) I haven't exercised much except for doing some extra walking to make my Gruve happy. Which as you saw in the last post has been sabotaged repeatedly by my need to complete schoolwork. But I hope that on top of talking to my doctor about digestive issues tomorrow I will also be able to get my clearance to start ChaLEAN. I know I could do some other things...but I want to do this SO BAD I have been kind of de-motivated to try anything else.

I still have been pretty good with food (except last night - it was Red Lobster - enough said). Mostly I have been binging on raw fruit, veggies and smoothies. Tonight we are having eggs and fruit, a favourite of mine.

So let's hope for a good checkup tomorrow and a clearance to start the new workout program.

Huzzah!

Blah...

That's how I have felt lately. First off I have been working very hard to finish my English class this past week. I had my final exam last Saturday, and one final essay that had to be handed in this week (and I just finished it last night). Can I say how much I hate essays? Especially on novels I didn't enjoy? /cough "The Stone Angel /cough...

I'm back up again, but only .5 pounds, so I'm not going to beat myself up over it. I have been very happy with my food choices lately. Of course mostly it's because I have been feeling so cruddy I've really only wanted to eat simple things like raw fruits and vegetables. Smoothies have been a lifesaver! I am so glad I have a really great blender and a freezer full of frozen fruit (thanks to a really awesome sale on Europe's Best Frozen Fruit at Metro this week!)

I have been having a lot of digestion issues again, which is probably why I am enjoying the smoothies and raw food so much. So much easier to digest! I am feeling bloated and cranky and just plain yucky. I am going to see my doctor soon to check on things and make sure we are still pretty good. She also wants to give me a "thumbs up" before I start my new exercise program. I guess that's cool. I really wanted to start by now, but she will yell at me if I do. (She's a really great doctor...I adore her to pieces.)

So yeah...that's me in a nutshell this week. I am down to having only one course active (Taxation) which is MUCH better for my stress levels. Trying to do two and sometimes three at a time is just insane. Maybe by only having one on the go it will actually make me more productive on that one course.. We shall see...

Let's hope I get the all clear and can get back to normal next week! It will be great to Blog my progress under my new workout program!

Weigh In And A Review

Well, I'm up again. I am kind of weirded out by it because I spent four days yacking my guts out and keeping down little to no food, but I also didn't eat very well or get any exercise in...so I guess it is still to be expected. Of course having a horrible flu for four days means I am not going to beat myself up over it either.

Next Saturday I write my final exam for my English Prose Forms class. Thank the goddess! I will be so glad this course is over with and I can focus more on Taxation. Also, that means I will have more time to focus on exercise and diet etc. I am really looking forward to starting ChaLEAN!

Have I told you all about my Gruve yet? I didn't? Must have been the flu!

I got this cute little baby in the mail last week.


There was a special promotion on Twitter and I got this new tool at 50% off! At first I was a little worried that even at half off it was a little too costly for what I thought it was going to do for me.

Well I was wrong!

This weird looking item makes me get up and go. I think it goes well with my competitive nature. Let me tell you what it does so you understand.

You wear it like a pedometer, except this has no digital screen, no numbers, no step counts. All it has is a light that changes colours. So what you ask? Big deal? Well the first week it lulls you into a false sense of security while staying green the whole time as it analyzes your fitness/movement level. Then it sets you a goal and you go from there.

For example, after my assessment week I was set a "green goal" as they call it of 372 calories per day. So what happens now is you clip this little thing onto your belt or waistband and off you go. It starts off red first thing in the morning and moves through orange, yellow, blue and green. That in itself is pretty motivating. I press the little button, check the colour, and decide it's time for a walk!

Oh and did I mention the best part! If you sit still too long (you can set the time, mine is set to 50 minutes) it vibrates to let you know so you can get up and get moving! What an awesome idea! Everything is tracked online. You plug this into your computer via a usb cable and it logs you into a site to check how you are doing. (You get a subscription for a year when you buy it.)

Here's how my week looks so far, and remember I was sick for four days!


This screenshot was taken first thing Thursday morning, so ignore the data for that day (I did end up making it to green Thursday). Not too shabby for a sick girl!

I also like how you can click on any day and get the specific details for that day. This allows you to see when you are the most active, and perhaps when you can add a little more activity in.


Here is a detailed view of my best day. Nice right? Needless to say I am really enjoying this little Gruve. Much more than I thought I would, and yes, well worth the money spent.

Of course it also helps that we have had some really nice days lately...and who doesn't mind a nice walk outside on a great day?

Wednesday Weigh-in

And look! I am actually doing this on Wednesday! Now there's a first!

I woke up this morning and for some reason decided I was going to weight myself before I got dressed. My scale is in my exercise room, so I usually don't go in there in the mornings. I only ever workout at night so that's usually when I weigh myself.


That's what the scale told me...yes it sure did! I was just as shocked! In fact I was so surprised I had to step off, reset it, and weight myself again. Because I was sure it was wrong...horribly wrong. But it gave me the exact same numbers the second time.

Needless to say I was ecstatic! This puts me below the lowest weight I have recorded since I started! I have now lost a total of 7.6 pounds!


/happy dance

Of course there most likely is a big difference in fluctuation of weight between weighting yourself in the morning, and weighting yourself at night. But if this is how my weight looks in the morning...well honey I'll see you bright and early every day!

I still haven't got back into the habit of exercising, but I am doing much better with my food choices. I have pretty much given up coffee with all that extra cream and sugar and replaced it with yerba tea (which requires no cream, milk or sugar). I am taking a lot of precut raw fruit and veggie snacks like peppers, tomatoes, cucumbers, apples, etc. We also broke out the uber blender at home and stocked the fridge with frozen fruits. Both my son and I are loving the smoothies.

ChaLEAN finally arrived, but I'm not going to start it until April 1st. I have my final exam on the 27th of this month and I need to study for that as well as complete two essays prior. I don't think it would be fair to start a new exercise program not knowing I most likely won't be able to devote the correct amount of time to it. But I am looking forward to April!

Weigh In And An Award

Weigh In

I'm not sure how I managed it (not that I'm complaining - I'm not one to look a gift horse in the mouth) but I went down this week! Not a lot, but considering I was really expecting an increase, this on was a real shocker.

Let me explain...

Remember last week's post? The one about feeling down and frustrated? Well I haven't done a single workout since that night. Not on the Wii, not with a DVD, not even on my elliptical. Nada, zip, ziltch!

And! I hate horribly all week! We are rearranging our schedules at home right now due to changing work times, etc, and to be honest we have had way too much takeout this week.

Now you understand why I'm in shock!

But like I said...no one's complaining here!

I can't wait for ChaLEAN to get here so I can really get with the program. I got my Gruve today in the mail so I am starting my assessment week. Hopefully that helps me get up and go as well!

Award

The lovely Michelle over at A Healthier Me was so kind as to award me with a Sunshine Award! This is my very FIRST blog award and I was so excited and honoured to receive it.



I no have the pleasure to passing this award on to 12 other wonderful bloggers!

1. Stuffing My Feelings
2. Cutie Booty Cakes
3. Crazy Working Mom
4. Fit To Be Tied
5. Chibi Jeebs & The Neurotic Struggle
6. Scale Junkie
7. I Am Succeeding
8. My Journey To Fabulous
9. Fit Mom Now
10. My Journey To Healthy Living
11. The Path To Health
12. *Bitch Cakes* A Neurotic Glamour Girl's Weight Watchers Experience and Fitness Adventures

Now it's your turn! Pass this on to 12 Bloggers who inspire you!

Family Fun, Frustration and a Weigh In

Wednesday was an interesting day.

Everything started off pretty normal with work. It's starting to get pretty busy at my office (it's tax season and I work in accounting) so I was pretty focused on getting things done so as not to let items stack up.

We don't have cable at home. We canceled it after my father-in-law passed away as he was the only one to really watch television. It's been a challenge, especially now with the Olympics because I really wanted to watch Canada's progression. So when I slid into the van at the subway station (where my other half is so nice as to pick me up so I don't have to take the bus home) and he asked me if I wanted to go to Shoeless Joe's for dinner, I immediately said yes. I didn't even stop to think about the extra calories that would come with such a dinner. All I could think about was the Canadian men's hockey team playing against Russia - and Shoeless Joe's has television sets everywhere, even in the booths!

So as most of you know, it was a great game. I really enjoyed it (and I'm not a big sports person). Even the boy liked it. It freaked him out the first time Canada scored and the restaurant went nuts, but he smiled, cheered along with them, and was fine for the rest of the night. We ordered a bunch of appetizers and desserts afterward and just shared everything. It was a nice bonding experience, made all the better by Canada winning (sorry to any Russian fans out there, close your eyes now).


Ok, I'm done now...

After all that I came home, and in no mood to eat (because I was soooo full and happy) I stripped down and stepped on the scale.


I'm up...0.7 pounds...of course after a meal like that who wouldn't be?

But it's not just that...

I only worked out one time this week, and I ate pretty horribly most of the week. I do really well at lunch, but I always blow dinner. I get home so late I just don't feel like doing anything except picking up fast food.

I also have fallen out of love with the Wii EA Active challenge. It's not the workouts themselves, I love them. It's mostly because of the scheduling feature. My schedule rarely stays the same, so picking your days a head of time and sticking to them is really hard for me. So as hard as I try, I often miss workouts. It's wouldn't be so bad if you could make them up, but there's this horrible irritating statement at the top of the screen that shows X workouts missed. I am sure that is supposed to be motivating...but to me it's the opposite. I just don't want to look at it. It makes me sick. And damned if I am going to restart every single time I miss a workout. I would never finish the challenge!

So instead for a while I think I am going to stick to DVD programs until I can get my motivation back up. I'm kind of in a funk right now. I ordered ChaLEAN Extreme to see if that helps. I like the though of the weight training. Until it gets here though I guess I will mess around with Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred or Biggest Loser Boot Camp until ChaLEAN gets here. Or maybe I'll just keep using the weight loss programs on my elliptical. Maybe I'll just sit around, read, write and play video games.

/shrug

Who knows...