And So It Begins...

This is my first entry here on my new blog, Everything Gwenny. I'm guessing it would make sense to let you know why I have decided to start blogging.

Mostly, it's for me. It will help me keep myself accountable as I start on this journey to rediscover who I am, the me that makes me happy. I welcome you to come along if you like. I'll try not to bore you too much. I'll even throw in some reviews and other fun stuff every now and then to break of the monotony of my life. I also plan on incorporating a lot of polls to let people have their say over what I should do next.

So what do I need to discover? What am I unhappy with? There is much I could tell you, but this is only the first entry after all, so let's start with the most important issue nagging at the back of my brain (and getting closer to encompassing the whole thing with every passing day). My physical appearance.

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Up until recently I have been pretty satisfied (sometimes ecstatic) about how I look, and how people react to the way I look. It started many, many years ago when I discovered colourguard - also referred to as flag spinning (now there's a story or two in itself). Basically it can be described as a mixture of weaving various styles of dance together with the "spinning" of various pieces of equipment such as flags, sabers and rifles. It was something I highly enjoyed. I practiced almost every day, and my body showed it. I was thin, toned, full of energy...everything I am not today.

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I can't blame it on childbirth either. This is me about 18 months after the birth of my son. I doubt there is an ounce of fat on me.

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This picture was taken 3-4 years after that. Still looking pretty good I must say!

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Two marriages, and two divorces later...I was still very happy with the way I looked and the impression I tended to make on the others around me.

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So when did it all go wrong?

I believe a combination of finally quitting smoking (3 years clean now) and being hired to a "cushy" desk job helped to initiate my downward slide.

My friends all say, "There's nothing wrong with the way you look. You look fine!" But then why does that quiet nice Chinese lady who works in the corner office always get the urge to rub my tummy when she is standing beside me?

I can see it. That's all that really matters. That's me....and I'm not happy.

I'm not saying I'm obese. I'm not even saying I'm fat. What I am saying is that I'm overweight. Even my wii thinks so and makes my little mii look pudgy!

Some people might roll their eyes at me and tell me I am being ridiculous, but when a woman who used to range between 100 and 115 pounds gets on a scale and looks down to see the numbers creeping over the 160 pound mark, I think she has every right to feel upset with herself if she wants to. It's so bad (to me at least) that I don't even let people take pictures of me anymore.

And that's where I am now. I'm upset. I'm depressed. And I'm pissed off! I'm pissed off at myself for letting it go this far. I am the only one to blame, and now I am the only one who can make a change for the better.

But I do need your support and encouragement. Give me shit when I slack off, slap me a virtual high-five when I accomplish a goal. Share your tears and triumphs with me so we can experience this journey together.

The journey starts today. Will you join me? I hope so!

Step One: Choose an initial workout program.

Here's where the first poll comes in. Help me choose which wii related fitness program to try. I will track my workouts and even write a review of the system after two weeks. After that we can choose a new system, or keep on trucking along with the current system if we are really enjoying ourselves.


Have your say! Thank you in advance for making this journey with me!