Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead

Life has gone to shit.

Anyone following my blog knows I have been dealing with health issues for many years now, the most recent issue having started after a very bad gallbladder attack April 30th of last year. I started to get this pain in my sternum area, and it would progress down to a squeezing burning type pain under my breasts. This pain mostly came from eating, and sometimes if I had not eaten for a long time.

I ended up in the hospital in the summer and they found an ulcer and gastritis. This was treated, and follow-ups showed no further issues. But yet the pain continued.

In October I had my gallbladder removed. This helped with the intense attacks I would sometimes get in the middle of the night that were so bad I could barely breathe and almost always cause me to vomit until relief finally came. But, this did not help with the pain I experienced after every meal.

The pain got so bad that even with liquid and soft meals it would come. It got so bad that it was constant. Yet no one can seem to figure out what it is. I wake up with a sore throat every morning. I get super nauseous when I lie down. Sometimes I wake up abruptly as what feels like hot acid comes up my throat and out, sometimes this even happens when I am sitting reclined in my chair relaxing! We have tried every stomach medicine and nothing works, often it makes matters worse.

I have another specialist appointment in August. This doctor specializes in the liver, pancreas, sphincter of oddi, etc. I really hope he can help me, but after already seeing so many doctors related to this issue, (at least 7), I am not holding my breath.

The pain is so bad currently that I can barely sit up in an office chair for more than a few minutes. If I recline it back I can at least get comfortable, but then I need to move my keyboard and mouse closer to me. I have a setup in my living room right now with a wireless keyboard and mouse with my laptop.

I had to leave my job. It was busy tax season and I obviously couldn't keep up, and they needed someone there that could. I might be able to return if I ever get better, but there is no guarantee.

I remembered a movie I saw once called Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead, by Joe Cross. I searched on Netflix and it was there. I immediately watched it again. This was it, this could be the answer! A 30-day juice fast to "reboot" my system. I remember the first time I watched this I said to myself, I could never do that, that's crazy! This time when I watched it something Joe said hit a nerve, he said that people often say they can't do it, without even trying, but that all changes once you get to your breaking point. His breaking point was at age 41. I am also 41.

We already owned the book as well so I flipped through it, picked my plan, and prepared to start. I dug out the juicer and made sure it still worked. It's an oldie but a goodie!

The next thing I did was weight myself. The day before I started transitioning I weighed in at 183.5 pounds. I certainly wasn't happy about that!

I decided to transition in slowly since I had been eating pretty badly. After already trying soft foods, and liquids, and it not helping, I had pretty much given up caring what I ate. I was still gluten free so I didn't have to worry about transitioning that out. Day one I stopped chips. I had eaten the last I had and refused to but more. The second day I did the same with chocolate. The next day I went down to one tea with sugar. The next day no tea or sugar. The last day before my transition I was only drinking juice and eating fruit.

Today, Thursday, April 5th, 2018, is my first all juice-only day.

Let's hope this helps! And even if it doesn't, at least it will reboot my system and my taste buds and I will crave healthier food instead of junk. Joe said he sometimes feels lucky that he got sick, that a dramatic change was what he needed before he killed himself with his unhealthy lifestyle. Hopefully I will one day feel lucky that I got sick as well...

A Rough Week

This week was not nearly as good as the previous week.

Let's look at the goals and compare.

Week Ending January 14, 2018

• visit the gym at least twice (no visits)
• participate in at least one group class at the gym (no visits)
• visit the ROM at least once - COMPLETED
• work out at least three times (none)
• get steps goals at least three times of 5K or more (only once)
• go to work all five days (missed Friday)
• complete SBK up to June 2016 (no)
• complete HSKBK May 2017 (no)
• put 5% of received pays into my savings account (gross) (no pays this week)
• practice Spanish every day - COMPLETED
• pick up a new phone (delaying)
• cut out gluten (mostly)
• make a smoothie for breakfast at least two times this week (no)

I was having such a tough time this week with pain that I didn't want to push it so I didn't go to the gym and didn't do any workouts. I am upset about this, but I know forcing myself would have only made my body worse.

I only went over 5,000 steps one day, and that was the day I visited the ROM. However, I did get very close on 4 other occasions (4,968, 4,883, and 4,617) so I don't feel too horrible about this when taking into account my pain levels. Friday, Saturday, and Sunday were almost complete washes however during the highest levels of pain those days. Saturday I spent pretty much the entire day in bed.

I did get a new Fitbit badge though! Not too shabby having only received the Fitbit on Christmas day!

I ended up missing work Friday due to the pain levels. I am hoping my body is slowly getting used to working regularly again and will actually be able to make it through an entire 5 day work week this week.

I visited the ROM on Tuesday and chose the Wildlife Photographer of the Year as my first exhibit to visit. I really enjoyed it. I was happy to have at least one wolf picture in the exhibit and even picked up a postcard as a memento.

I have decided to delay my phone pickup for the time being until I see how my health hopefully stabilizes. No need for a new phone if I end up losing my job due to illness.

The gluten I did cut out, but then my loving husband made dinner one night and completely forgot and made something with gluten in it, and I had no idea until it was too late. Poor guy felt so horrible when we figured it out. Oh well, at least he will remember next time!

I have been enjoying learning Spanish with Duolingo. The program says I am 15% fluent now, but I highly doubt that. But I do know how to say the cat eats ducks in Spanish...although I have no idea why I would ever need to say that!

Let's hope for a better week next week, although it's not looking good at this point as the pain levels are still incredibly high... I am going to reduce them a bit for the coming week.

Week Ending January 21, 2018

• visit the gym at least once
• participate in at least one group class at the gym
• visit the ROM at least once
• work out at least three twice
• get steps goals at least three times (5K or more)
• go to work all five days
• complete SBK up to June 2016
• complete HSKBK May 2017
• put 5% of received pays into my savings account (gross)
• practice Spanish every day
• cut out gluten
• make a smoothie for breakfast at least two times this week
• study at lunch at least twice this week

I think that's it for this week! Hopefully much better results next check in!

A Good Week

This has been a good week!

To start with, this is my second blog post this year already! That's a good way to start!

Secondly, I went to work every day last week. Due to my illness and pain levels recently it's been rare when I could say that.

Thirdly, I actually went to the gym this week (today in fact) and did a full 60-minute step class!

Let's check out the weekly goals list and review:

Week Ending January 7, 2018

• get a gym membership - COMPLETED
• get a ROM membership for lunchtime walking - COMPLETED
• visit the gym at least twice
• participate in at least one group class at the gym - COMPLETED
• visit the ROM at least once
• work out at least three times
• get steps goals at least three times - COMPLETED
• weave in ends on Andrea's cowl - COMPLETED
• soak Andrea's cowl - COMPLETED
• block Andrea's cowl - COMPLETED
• go to work all four days - COMPLETED
• complete SBK up to June 2016
• complete HSKBK May 2017
• frog at least one project - COMPLETED
• put 5% of December and January received pays into my savings account (gross) - COMPLETED
• finish at least one WIP
• practice Spanish every day - COMPLETED
• complete clue #1 of the CK New Year's MKAL - COMPLETED

A few notes:

I only visited the gym once, but I am OK with that because I had to start somewhere. I almost didn't go today either, but I forced myself. This is where it needs to start!

This week getting back to work and staying at work all week was my main goal. Due to that being my main focus, and the severe cold this week, I didn't push myself to go out and visit the ROM on my lunch breaks. Hopefully this week!

I didn't work out three times this week, but I did work out twice! I am OK with that as well. One time at the gym, and one time on my elliptical in the basement.

For the steps goal I realize I didn't actually set a goal, so can't really say I met it. But! This week I hit over 2K twice, over 3K twice, and over 4K the other three days, so I am calling that a win! Today, thanks in a large part to the step class, I hit over 8K steps! They gave me a nice little badge for completing over 5K steps in a day. Working towards the 10K one!

That step class was a super awesome workout. I love how my Fitbit tracks everything and rewards me with cute little badges like the ones above. Below is the impact image from my class. Love it!

The bookkeeping goals have been a complete wash because I have been too exhausted and working on getting the right amounts of sleep. Fitbit helps me track that too!

I also didn't finish and WIPs, but that's because I have had to put them aside for a timed brioche test knit. I will go back to the WIPs after the test knit is completed and submitted.

Goals for this week!

Week Ending January 14, 2018

• visit the gym at least twice
• participate in at least one group class at the gym
• visit the ROM at least once
• work out at least three times
• get steps goals at least three times (5K or more)
• go to work all five days
• complete SBK up to June 2016
• complete HSKBK May 2017
• put 5% of received pays into my savings account (gross)
• practice Spanish every day
• pick up a new phone
• cut out gluten
• make a smoothie for breakfast at least two times this week

That's about it for this week! I hope to see everyone again next week for a new update.

New Year, New Hope, Take 3

This is starting to feel a little bit like a Star Wars trilogy, isn't it? I feel like I have said some of this a time or two before...

Well! Another year has come and gone. I haven't updated since my post after the last New Year check-in.

2017 has not been kind to me, and honestly, I have been too distracted by health and other issues to find time to blog too much. Of course, I am also starting to realize that this could be part of my problem. I need to force myself to do things, and in doing so, I will be positively affected in other ways.

So, let's hope things change this year! No...things WILL change this year!

A recent video from one of my favourite motivational speakers, Brian Tracy, said the first thing you should do in the new year is to review the previous year's goals. Let's look at my goals from 2017 and see how I did.

• Pour myself into my new job. - As much as I was able to due to health I did this. So I will mark this one as a success.
• Refocus on my education now that I have a job where I can actually use it. - Again, taking into consideration my health issues I feel I did ok with this. I completed one course and started a second, which I will finish early this year.
• Refocus on my health and weight now that I don't have this chronic illness wearing me down. - I tried. My body still hates me. New issues came up, possibly due to the treatments for my previous issues, and it's just been a long haul. Just had another surgery and hoping this is the year for this to finally go right.
• Refocus on cleaning and decluttering the home now that my illness is not dictating how to prioritize my life. - I am going to mark this as a win because even though I was sick, I took my sick leave time and actually did go through a lot of stuff and throw it out, give it away to family, or donate it to charity. I will keep moving forward with this in 2018.
• By less new yarn and use more stash yarn. - Yeah, this didn't happen. I used yarn purchases to cheer me up, most likely way more than I should have. This is a major focus for me this year as well.
• Complete more WIPs instead of starting new projects. - I did finish more projects this year than is typical for me, but only one of them was a WIP, the rest I actually started in 2016. So I will classify this as moving in a positive direction, but not quite what I was aiming for.
• More detailed crafting goals will be on the craft blog. My 2018 crafting goal post can be found here.
• Update the blogs more! - Even though it doesn't seem like it here, I did do more posts on my reading/review blog, Rants N Scribbles. I still need to get much better at this blogging thing.

So that's that. Moving forward I am going to make more detailed plans to achieve goals. This is going to include weekly, monthly, yearly, and lifetime goals. I have started a separate page to help track them. If you are actually interested, you can find that page here. I am hoping this keeps me more motivated to check in, and then blog as I go.

I am going to leave this at that for now. Perhaps if I break up my posts a little more instead of posting walls of text I will be more likely to blog more often.

My next post will focus on the detailed goals for 2018 and a brief look at the plans I have.

I hope everyone had a very happy New Year!