Stepping Back and Catching Up

For those who don't know me well let me tell you a little about myself.

I am a woman in my mid thirties who has the following going on in her life:

1. Mother of a teenage boy diagnosed with ADHD, OCD and recently, ASD (Asperger's). He has recently been accepted into a high school autism program which I am extremely thankful for.
2. I work full time as an Office Manager/Executive Assistant in a small Toronto accounting office. I have been here for 6 years.
3. I am taking courses online through Athabasca University to complete my Bachelor of Commerce with a major in Accounting. I am two courses away from having the courses required for the University Accounting Certificate and once that is complete I will tackle the University Advanced Accounting Certificate.
4. I am a student councilor for Athabasca University's Student Union. I sit on two of their committees, Finance and Media.
5. I have been married twice, divorced twice, and am currently in a common law relationship with a man who finally makes every day brighter. We have been together almost 7 years now, longer than either of my marriages lasted...
6. I used to be very thin, actually I was anorexic, but thanks to my recent PCOS diagnosis, my weight fluctuates up and down constantly. I probably haven't been under 150 pounds since I hit my thirties.
7. I love to start knitting and crocheting projects, but I rarely finish them.
8. I love to buy and read books, but I probably buy 10 books for every 1 I read.
9. My 20-something sister is currently living with me and also going to Athabasca University. She is doing it as a full time funded student however and working on her Bachelor of Management.
10. We have 3 cats, 2 dogs, and a guinea pig currently sharing our home with us.
11. I used to write, mostly horror, but I don't have much time to do that any more.
12. I read and review mostly YA books over on another blog.
13. I'm currently planning my first "real" vacation with my partner. I am pretty excited about this!
14. I was accepted to be a team member for the upcoming CMA Board Case Competition in Alberta.
15. I am sure there is more I am forgetting...but I think you get this gist of it...

So anyhow...the point of all that above rambling was just to get to the fact that I am a very busy person...it was seriously getting to the point where I wasn't sleeping or eating much anymore. It was just work work work (in some form or another).

So...I had a mini breakdown, and together with the other half decided some thing(s) had to go. Unfortunately the CMA Case was one of the first things to go. It required the most additional work at the time, and there is always the opportunity to try out for the team next year. Just letting that one thing slide out of my hands brought so much relief it wasn't even funny. I knew right away by the change in my stress levels that I had made the right decision. It still saddens me, but I know it was the right thing to do for me at this point in my life.

Since making that decision Sunday I immediately poured myself back into my studies to try to catch up to the point I should be at. I am currently enrolled in two courses, PHIL252 - Critical Thinking and ENGL305 - Literature for Children. I have to have Critical Thinking completed by the end of January. This means I have to focus focus focus!

Here is what my nights currently look like when working on Critical Thinking...

Regarding Literature for Children... I have started reading from the study guide, but not the actual novels yet...the pile of reading I will need to do is slightly intimidating...

So yeah...I better get on that...like pronto...

Summer15 Week Six

Well that sort of worked out better. Odd considering the week I have had, but I'll take it as it comes.

Last week if you remember I posted I weighed in at 162.4. I am down 2.8 pounds!

I didn't go to the gym at all this week! This is so weird. I always seem to lose weight when I DON'T go to the gym? Is it just a coincidence?

My food choices were not always the greatest either. My son was out of town for the week and this left me the option of eating crappy dinners (which I did most nights). But I was really really good with my lunches, following the food list as best as possible. So maybe that is what helped.

Hopefully this week I can add in better dinners too. The other half wants to start improving his diet as well, so hopefully with us both feeling the urge to be better we can encourage one another.

I have started reading The Low GI Handbook: The New Glucose Revolution Guide to the Long-Term Health Benefits of Low GI Eating (New Glucose Revolutions) and it has some really great low GI recipes included, together with full weekly diet plans. This week alone I have already tried 2 of the recipes. I especially enjoyed the tabbouleh (pics to follow soon).

I am still interested to learn what everyone else does to stay on track with eating and avoid all the yummy temptations out there. So don't be shy! Leave a comment and let me know, because I am still having way too many weak craving moments.

M.I.A.

First of all, I want to thank all of you wonderful readers who have emailed me over the past week or so wondering if everything is OK with me. It means a lot to me that people are reading enough to realize when you have been gone to long and are genuinely curious as to why.

Since my last post I have gained exactly 5 pounds back. The very same 5 pounds I was so proud to have lost as it put me at the 10 pounds lost marker.

But I'm OK with it.  Why?

1) I have been eating like crap! (When I felt like eating at all that is.)

2) I have not been exercising AT ALL!

Why you ask again?

Because I have been sick.

I have been VERY sick.

I have been going through medical tests and doctor's appointments like crazy to find out why I am sick (and am in constant agony).

I was so stressed out, not just with the pain, but also because I was having trouble working, walking up and down stairs, sleeping, and doing just about anything really. I was so freaked out trying to figure out what it could be.

Luckily we pretty much have the answer now, also luckily it seems like something that should be easy to take care of without extensive surgeries and medications.

I have a few more tests that need to be run before the doctor can refer me to the specialist, and then they will be the ones to decide how to proceed.

Here is what we do know so far: (WARNING - This is very personal and involves women's cycles, etc and might be too much information for some people. Continue reading at your own risk!)

PCOS has pretty much been confirmed via ultrasounds, but we are still waiting on the final blood work to come back on that.

Two uterine fibroids have been discovered. One is about 2 cm and the other is around 5cm. The larger one is in the lower back area and the reason for most of the pain and the inability to sleep.

I have an excess of ovarian follicles which is also a symptom of PCOS and may be rupturing which can also be causing the pain in the abdominal areas.

Until we can get more test results back and speak to a specialist I have been placed on prescription painkillers to manage the pain so I can at least return to a somewhat normal lifestyle. I have also been placed on birth control pills for three months (starting with my next cycle) to manage the hormone levels and make the menstrual cycles more bearable as that is what is aggravating the fibroids.

Fun stuff right! At least I got in lots of reading and video game time! I even made a Shelfari account! Feel free to add me.

At least it's not cancerous...that's what I keep repeating to myself over and over again...

Next week I hope to get back to healthier eating and some exercise (pending how the painkillers work of course).  I have already been told I had to drop out of my dancing with ROTC for the season as well as drop out of my first 5K race I had planned.  I'm pretty bummed but I am hoping once my health gets back on track I can return to those things I enjoyed!

Weekly Weigh-in

This has been a pretty great week overall. After reading The Ultimate PCOS Handbook: Lose Weight, Boost Fertility, Clear Skin and Restore Self-Esteem I started feeling better about how to deal with my weight gain and other health issues in a natural way, without hated medications, surgeries, etc.

This week my boyfriend put us on a mostly raw fruit and vegetable diet with only eggs and fish being allowed. This was to not only help with my weight loss goals, but also my digestion issues.

Wow! Look at that! That's my new lowest weight achieved since this year started. I am so excited! This puts me at a total weight loss from the beginning of the year of 9.2 pounds! I am so close to that ten pound goal I can taste it! Last week's weigh-in was 161.7, so that's a loss of 2.9 pounds for the week. Amazing!

I actually took the time to weigh myself every day this week to see how things were going, and almost every day (with the exception of one) resulted in at least a minor loss from the day before. Here is how it looked:

Mon:  160.2
Tues:  159.8
Wed:  159.2
Thur:  160.0 (the only up day)
Fri:     158.8

How great is that? And this was all done strictly through diet. I haven't changed my exercise situation at all yet. But that of course is the next step now that I am feeling super motivated again!

Curious what I ate? Here is a sample:

Nomnomnomnomnom!

Wednesday Weigh-in

I know, I know...I have been missing in action for a while. This is due to a mixture of uber business and depression.  Let me explain...

The last time I posted we thought there might be a bun in the oven. We had never really thought about having a child together. I have a boy who is almost 12 from my first marriage, and my partner (Michael) is 11 years older than me and never really thought about having a child of his own. Actually he said he didn't really want one.

This all changed the moment we thought it was happening. He was so excited, I was so exited, we picked out names...you can see where this is going right? Well it turned out, even after 2 weeks late, I wasn't pregnant, or maybe I was and lost it. We'll never know. What I do know is this...now we kind of want to have another one...but now it turns out I might not be able to.

Why?

The doctor thinks I might have PCOS (Polycycstic Ovary Syndrome). We think this is why I am struggling with things like weight gain (even though I eat really small meals) specifically around my belly (which my demonic kindly coworker was evil nice enough to point out looked like I was 3 months pregnant). Other symptoms are things like acne on my face and back (check) extra and darker hair in regular areas as well as places like the chin, chest and nipples (check). Oh and let's not forget digestion issues, which we all know from previous posts I definitely suffer from.


How does this effect baby planning? Well low fertility is also a symptom. Perhaps this is explains why in almost 12 years I have been unable to have another child...


The good news is now that I know there are many treatments, most natural and fits my diet/exercise plan anyhow. It just makes me even more motivated to try harder now. I am reading this great book called The Ultimate PCOS Handbook: Lose Weight, Boost Fertility, Clear Skin and Restore Self-Esteem. It has some great information in it and I hope to post a review when I am done. I am about halfway through it now.


So that's that...

I am down one whole pound from the last time I weighed in. So that's good. I have been really focusing on diet and exercise a lot more. My Gruve is really helpful in reaching at least my movement goals, forcing me to take the stairs more and longer walks at lunch, etc. I love it.


A girl at the bank just yesterday asked me if I had been losing weight. I almost jumped onto the counter and kissed her. It may only be one pound on the scale but I do feel a difference and I am feeling happier with myself, and that's where it all starts, right?

Family Fun, Frustration and a Weigh In

Wednesday was an interesting day.

Everything started off pretty normal with work. It's starting to get pretty busy at my office (it's tax season and I work in accounting) so I was pretty focused on getting things done so as not to let items stack up.

We don't have cable at home. We canceled it after my father-in-law passed away as he was the only one to really watch television. It's been a challenge, especially now with the Olympics because I really wanted to watch Canada's progression. So when I slid into the van at the subway station (where my other half is so nice as to pick me up so I don't have to take the bus home) and he asked me if I wanted to go to Shoeless Joe's for dinner, I immediately said yes. I didn't even stop to think about the extra calories that would come with such a dinner. All I could think about was the Canadian men's hockey team playing against Russia - and Shoeless Joe's has television sets everywhere, even in the booths!

So as most of you know, it was a great game. I really enjoyed it (and I'm not a big sports person). Even the boy liked it. It freaked him out the first time Canada scored and the restaurant went nuts, but he smiled, cheered along with them, and was fine for the rest of the night. We ordered a bunch of appetizers and desserts afterward and just shared everything. It was a nice bonding experience, made all the better by Canada winning (sorry to any Russian fans out there, close your eyes now).


Ok, I'm done now...

After all that I came home, and in no mood to eat (because I was soooo full and happy) I stripped down and stepped on the scale.


I'm up...0.7 pounds...of course after a meal like that who wouldn't be?

But it's not just that...

I only worked out one time this week, and I ate pretty horribly most of the week. I do really well at lunch, but I always blow dinner. I get home so late I just don't feel like doing anything except picking up fast food.

I also have fallen out of love with the Wii EA Active challenge. It's not the workouts themselves, I love them. It's mostly because of the scheduling feature. My schedule rarely stays the same, so picking your days a head of time and sticking to them is really hard for me. So as hard as I try, I often miss workouts. It's wouldn't be so bad if you could make them up, but there's this horrible irritating statement at the top of the screen that shows X workouts missed. I am sure that is supposed to be motivating...but to me it's the opposite. I just don't want to look at it. It makes me sick. And damned if I am going to restart every single time I miss a workout. I would never finish the challenge!

So instead for a while I think I am going to stick to DVD programs until I can get my motivation back up. I'm kind of in a funk right now. I ordered ChaLEAN Extreme to see if that helps. I like the though of the weight training. Until it gets here though I guess I will mess around with Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred or Biggest Loser Boot Camp until ChaLEAN gets here. Or maybe I'll just keep using the weight loss programs on my elliptical. Maybe I'll just sit around, read, write and play video games.

/shrug

Who knows...

Books Read in 2010

As mentioned in my previous entry, one of my goals was to read at least 50 books in 2010. I will be keeping this entry updated and re-link to it every time I finish a new book (versus making a new post).

1) Men of the Otherworld ~ Kelley Armstrong
384 pages ~ AWESOME 4/5

2) A Touch Of Dead ~ Charlaine Harris
208 pages ~ GOOD 3/5

3) Blood Promise (Vampire Academy, Book 4) ~ Richelle Mead
480 pages ~ AWESOME 4/5

4) Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone (Book 1) [Adult Edition] ~ J.K. Rowling ~ 332 pages ~ AMAZING 5/5

5) Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (Book 2) [Adult Edition] ~ J.K. Rowling ~ 368 pages ~ AMAZING 5/5

6) Running: Getting Started, 2E ~ Jeff Galloway ~ 231 pages ~ GOOD 3/5

7) Ash ~ Malinda Lo ~ 272 pages ~ AWESOME 4/5

*
Goal #1 ~ Read 50 books or more in 2010.

7 / 50 books read. 14% done!

**
Goal #2 ~ Read 15,000 pages or more in 2010.

2,275 / 15,000 pages read. 15% done!

***
Ranking:
1 ~ POOR
2 ~ OK
3 ~ GOOD
4 ~ AWESOME
5 ~ AMAZING