M.I.A.

First of all, I want to thank all of you wonderful readers who have emailed me over the past week or so wondering if everything is OK with me. It means a lot to me that people are reading enough to realize when you have been gone to long and are genuinely curious as to why.

Since my last post I have gained exactly 5 pounds back. The very same 5 pounds I was so proud to have lost as it put me at the 10 pounds lost marker.

But I'm OK with it.  Why?

1) I have been eating like crap! (When I felt like eating at all that is.)

2) I have not been exercising AT ALL!

Why you ask again?

Because I have been sick.

I have been VERY sick.

I have been going through medical tests and doctor's appointments like crazy to find out why I am sick (and am in constant agony).

I was so stressed out, not just with the pain, but also because I was having trouble working, walking up and down stairs, sleeping, and doing just about anything really. I was so freaked out trying to figure out what it could be.

Luckily we pretty much have the answer now, also luckily it seems like something that should be easy to take care of without extensive surgeries and medications.

I have a few more tests that need to be run before the doctor can refer me to the specialist, and then they will be the ones to decide how to proceed.

Here is what we do know so far: (WARNING - This is very personal and involves women's cycles, etc and might be too much information for some people. Continue reading at your own risk!)

PCOS has pretty much been confirmed via ultrasounds, but we are still waiting on the final blood work to come back on that.

Two uterine fibroids have been discovered. One is about 2 cm and the other is around 5cm. The larger one is in the lower back area and the reason for most of the pain and the inability to sleep.

I have an excess of ovarian follicles which is also a symptom of PCOS and may be rupturing which can also be causing the pain in the abdominal areas.

Until we can get more test results back and speak to a specialist I have been placed on prescription painkillers to manage the pain so I can at least return to a somewhat normal lifestyle. I have also been placed on birth control pills for three months (starting with my next cycle) to manage the hormone levels and make the menstrual cycles more bearable as that is what is aggravating the fibroids.

Fun stuff right! At least I got in lots of reading and video game time! I even made a Shelfari account! Feel free to add me.

At least it's not cancerous...that's what I keep repeating to myself over and over again...

Next week I hope to get back to healthier eating and some exercise (pending how the painkillers work of course).  I have already been told I had to drop out of my dancing with ROTC for the season as well as drop out of my first 5K race I had planned.  I'm pretty bummed but I am hoping once my health gets back on track I can return to those things I enjoyed!

Weekly Weigh-in

Well...I wasn't going to do a weigh-in post yet. in fact, it was my intent to merely post a photo blog today. But then I realized something...

For those of you paying attention...that means I have lost a total of 10.5 pounds to date! OMG! This entitles me to add this to my sidebar!

Ecstatic much? Ummm hell yeah! I've lost 1.3 pounds this week alone! I am MORE than ecstatic.

I'd like to thank my wonderful boyfriend for putting us (yes the whole family) on a healthier eating plan, making it so much easier for me (and of course he has lost some of his extra pounds as well!). I also want to thank all my ROTC co-members for making me work my butt off at every rehearsal! I am SO looking forward to our all day rehearsal before the parades start!

The weirdest part is I was just trying to talk myself into going for a nice walk and grabbing a taco from Taco Bell to celebrate Cinco De Mayo...but now I think I will just stick with the raw veggies and black bean dip, I mean that's Mexican too right? I mean the company that makes it is called Mad Mexican!

Besides...it's my son's birthday today (12 years, wow...really?) and he has picked Dairy Queen as his dinner of choice...so it's already going to be a BAD eating day....

But how can you say no to this face? (Especially when he picked a healthy fruit smoothie for his breakfast of choice...)

Resolutions for 2010

I, like most people, made some New Year's resolutions for 2010. We actually made it a family event as the three of us sat around waiting for the clock to strike twelve. The goal was to come up with at least five good, solid, achievable goals.

I was the most impressed by my son, Darien, who made almost ten really good goals. He usually hates this exercise and writes down the silliest things he can come up with. This year he made clear goals such as not getting lines for the year (one of his most hated punishments for wrong doings such as lying), raising his grades in math and French, and being more responsible and spending time with his new pet guinea pig.

(Not the actual guinea pig.)
I made some goals I was really proud of as well. I made more than fifteen. I think one of the goals I was most proud of was to monitor my book spending and not to exceed a certain annual budget. For those who know me well, this will be VERY hard for me!


Of course I also resolved to lose at least 10 pounds this year and eat healthier. I didn't mention any specific diets or exercise programs because I change my mind often and I didn't want to set myself up for failure.

The plan was to start January 1st, but alas I had a shoulder injury the would not allow me to workout and the I suffered a case of nasty food poisoning. Now that everything seems back on track (for now) I am hoping to start tonight with my Biggest Loser profile creation. Let's hope for more Blogs soon! (That was another resolution by the way, to Blog AT LEAST twice a month...let's see how that goes!)

Some other goals I set were:
- read at least 50 books over the year
- complete at least three courses through university this year
- fit at least one "family" or "mommy and boy" night in each week
- have some specific renovations made to the house
- continue at ROTC, at least for one complete season
- one coffee per day

I have currently put myself on a partial fruit cleanse to help my digestive system and weight loss. Due to my already low protein levels, I was advised it was best to still continue to eat small portions of protein to keep myself a little more balanced. I started yesterday and I am enjoying all the fruit I get to eat. I am sure I will get sick of it eventually though. And of course I couldn't give up the coffee...but at least I cut back to only one coffee a day (first thing in the morning) and it is now only a large instead of an extra large.

How about you? Did you make resolutions this year? Which ones are you really eager to achieve?

Well, that's it for now! Let's hope I get back on here more often! Maybe I'll have some Biggest Loser for the Wii updates soon!

Motivation

First of all, I would like to take the time to thank all the people who voted in my Wii Fitness Poll. I also want to personally thank the person who posted “Choose the one YOU want.”

I have decided to compromise, and pick ONE of the ones I really wanted to work with, but also received a large amount of votes. So with that out there on the table I wanted to announce that I will be using Biggest Loser for the Wii.





I took the time and set up a profile for each of the systems mentioned in the poll, and I also spend around 20 minutes in each game feeling out how it worked.

It became clear to me very quickly that I was not going to enjoy using the Wii Fit/Wii Fit Plus - Software Only enough to keep me motivated for a full two weeks. The biggest downfall seemed to be the availability of built in workout programs to use. I did like the flexibility of all the games and free play options, and I am aware there is a way to chain them together to create a personalized workout program, but the main issue with me is I want to be told exactly what to do, at least to start.

All the other games I polled had this option so then it came down to a matter of which one received the most votes, and Biggest Loser won it with 19% of the votes. I also get the feeling this will be a fun and motivating one to start with. It seems very versatile, allowing you to manually enter calories consumed and burned as well as calculating calories burned while doing the workouts it selects for you.

I also love the “challenges” and “weigh-ins” like they have in the Biggest Loser television series. I think this is going to be a blast to work with! I’ll let you know more as it progresses along, but not yet!

And here is the catch! I have decided I am going to use this to achieve a weight loss goal for 2010. With all the stresses and yummy foods around during the Holiday season, I know that now is the worst time to start a weight loss program. So January 1st, it’s on!

Do you have Biggest Loser for Wii? If not yet, maybe you can ask Santa for Christmas! And if you do have it, and want to set, track and share your weight loss goals with me, comment below. Let’s take this journey together!

In the meantime however, I am not giving up. I have started making small changes in diet and behaviors. I take the stairs when I have the energy (I work on the 7th floor). I am trying to eat more fresh vegetables and fruit. I am trying to drink more water. I have started attending a regular colorguard group. And, I have instituted an exercise allowance.

What is an exercise allowance you ask? It’s my motivation to get in shape.

The biggest issue with most people when they finally decide they want to knuckle down and get in shape is finding the motivation not only to start, but to stick with it. And so I have devised my very own workout allowance.

The principle is simple. I pay myself to exercise. I base the rates on how much I hate the exercise and reward myself accordingly. Then I allow myself to spend my allowance on things I wouldn’t usually waste money on. I did something similar when I quit smoking over three years ago, and it worked so well I figured why not?

Here is a sample of the allowance schedule I have created for myself:

Stairs Down $0.50
Stairs Up $3.00
Lunch Walk $1.00
Walk the Dog $2.00
Workout > 20 min. $5.00

Actually, now that I think of it, maybe I should increase the rate for the dogs. They have too much energy. Here they are if you are interested...



Of course, the easier it becomes for me to do these things, the lower the price will get on each of them.

To date I have raised $49.50 – it will be $50.00 by the time I leave work.

I have already ordered my new rifle for colorguard.



Works for me!

What about you? What kind of things do you use for motivation?

And So It Begins...

This is my first entry here on my new blog, Everything Gwenny. I'm guessing it would make sense to let you know why I have decided to start blogging.

Mostly, it's for me. It will help me keep myself accountable as I start on this journey to rediscover who I am, the me that makes me happy. I welcome you to come along if you like. I'll try not to bore you too much. I'll even throw in some reviews and other fun stuff every now and then to break of the monotony of my life. I also plan on incorporating a lot of polls to let people have their say over what I should do next.

So what do I need to discover? What am I unhappy with? There is much I could tell you, but this is only the first entry after all, so let's start with the most important issue nagging at the back of my brain (and getting closer to encompassing the whole thing with every passing day). My physical appearance.

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Up until recently I have been pretty satisfied (sometimes ecstatic) about how I look, and how people react to the way I look. It started many, many years ago when I discovered colourguard - also referred to as flag spinning (now there's a story or two in itself). Basically it can be described as a mixture of weaving various styles of dance together with the "spinning" of various pieces of equipment such as flags, sabers and rifles. It was something I highly enjoyed. I practiced almost every day, and my body showed it. I was thin, toned, full of energy...everything I am not today.

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I can't blame it on childbirth either. This is me about 18 months after the birth of my son. I doubt there is an ounce of fat on me.

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This picture was taken 3-4 years after that. Still looking pretty good I must say!

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Two marriages, and two divorces later...I was still very happy with the way I looked and the impression I tended to make on the others around me.

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So when did it all go wrong?

I believe a combination of finally quitting smoking (3 years clean now) and being hired to a "cushy" desk job helped to initiate my downward slide.

My friends all say, "There's nothing wrong with the way you look. You look fine!" But then why does that quiet nice Chinese lady who works in the corner office always get the urge to rub my tummy when she is standing beside me?

I can see it. That's all that really matters. That's me....and I'm not happy.

I'm not saying I'm obese. I'm not even saying I'm fat. What I am saying is that I'm overweight. Even my wii thinks so and makes my little mii look pudgy!

Some people might roll their eyes at me and tell me I am being ridiculous, but when a woman who used to range between 100 and 115 pounds gets on a scale and looks down to see the numbers creeping over the 160 pound mark, I think she has every right to feel upset with herself if she wants to. It's so bad (to me at least) that I don't even let people take pictures of me anymore.

And that's where I am now. I'm upset. I'm depressed. And I'm pissed off! I'm pissed off at myself for letting it go this far. I am the only one to blame, and now I am the only one who can make a change for the better.

But I do need your support and encouragement. Give me shit when I slack off, slap me a virtual high-five when I accomplish a goal. Share your tears and triumphs with me so we can experience this journey together.

The journey starts today. Will you join me? I hope so!

Step One: Choose an initial workout program.

Here's where the first poll comes in. Help me choose which wii related fitness program to try. I will track my workouts and even write a review of the system after two weeks. After that we can choose a new system, or keep on trucking along with the current system if we are really enjoying ourselves.


Have your say! Thank you in advance for making this journey with me!